My Wish for You in 2017

Used with permission from Sarah B. Calligraphy.

Hello, everyone!

I just hope that each of you remembers, as this new year starts, that you are capable of handling whatever life throws at you, and that you are capable of achieving whatever dreams and goals you have set for yourself this year.

Back in the saddle.

The last few years, I have been doing photography still. (Let's face it -- I never really left.)
My schedule has been very limited -- I haven't done many shoots -- but I still have stayed active behind the camera. (Most of the stuff I've photographed has been second-shooting for Juhl Photography, mostly weddings, but also a few senior shoots as a second camera, too.)

This year has brought me more business than I expected.
I photographed a dear friend's senior portraits in the Spring, as she was getting ready to graduate from Colorado State University in May.

Then I photographed two weddings in July -- one for the aforementioned senior's cousins and one for a coworker.

Krista and I have photographed at least six weddings this year together (including my two) but that's just what I remember -- there are probably several that I'm forgetting -- and there's another one coming up in a few weeks.

Let's see, what else has happened in the last few years photographically....

• I  learned that you need to back-up your back-ups. (Two of my portable back-up drives lost the ability to function. The data is still there but no computer can currently read or write to them.) That little thing cost me every photograph I'd taken from 2009-2015. Oops.
• I've been photographing a shit ton with my phone. (Especially since I got an iPhone 6 a few years ago.) Mostly food and my dog, but hey, it counts. 
• I have two Instagram accounts: one for personal use and one for photography.
• I fell in love with Nikon. I remember posting an update where I borrowed a camera from my community college, and it was a Nikon, but I don't remember if that was on this blog or my personal one. Anyway, to sum up what that post said, I borrowed a Nikon from the school and fell in love with its color abilities. I have shot a few weddings with one of Krista's cameras this year (some of my lenses stopped functioning properly) and she shoots exclusively Nikon. I fell in love with them. I bought a new camera yesterday -- a Nikon D3300. We shot our first wedding together last night since I got it -- and I loved it. The biggest thing to get used to (besides where the buttons are that controls my stuff) is that the lenses come off opposite of Canon. Yikes. I love that we can share equipment now -- that should make things easier.
• I was hoping to get a better camera than that -- it's very similar in range to my Rebel XSi in terms of what's on the market these days -- but that's still something for a future time. (Heck, this thing is already more MP and more fps than my Rebel, so I consider it a step up.)
• I have also enjoyed shooting videos lately. Ok -- really only one. Krista had me come along with her to a quinceneara and I shot video while she did stills. But it was enjoyable. (And it was with her D5100.)
• I spent some time with Creative Suite 6, and am now onto PhotoShop CC. It's wonderful.
• I changed my photography business name. It was Rebbecca.Ella Photography -- a name I adopted because it's my first and middle names and I thought I wouldn't have to change it once I got married -- but I have since changed it to Feathered Penny Photography to align with other endeavors I'm pursuing, want to pursue, or could potentially pursue. (My brain is ever thinking.)
• Most importantly, I have been haunted by photography the last few years. It has ever stayed on my brain as something that I feel like I should (and want to) pursue more -- and that hasn't changed, aside from being further fueled by discontent in other areas of my life.

So what's next?

I plan to reinvigorate this blog. Do more posts. (Especially now that I have a few weddings of my own to blog on here.)

I plan to post regularly about other things -- you know, those things that I mentioned at the beginning of this blog: inspirations, information, photography tips and tricks, etc.

That's it, really.
Not a heck of a lot.

I'll be posting more regularly, so see you soon! 

Realization & Re-Evaluating

I met with another of my maternity clients on Friday to go over her session that we are going to do tomorrow. Luckily for me, she also happens to be one of my longest-held friendships as well.

But, last night, as I was making my list of things to do before the shoot tomorrow -- what to take and to remember to format my memory cards and charge my battery -- the real reason I stepped back from photography.

I'm not afraid of failing, as some might take it to be from my post.
I'm afraid of it being successful.

Unfortunately, over the course of my life, I have come to expect failure from myself. I always anticipate falling flat on my face and making a complete spectacle of myself.

This makes no sense, though, because I passed some of the hardest classes my college offers with flying colors.

I think it is that I am just afraid, too, of not having proper time to devote to it.
What if my business takes off, but then I also get a new career position? A photography business takes a lot of time to be successful: marketing, interacting with clients and fans, scheduling, photographing, editing, delivering product, ordering prints and photographic items, meeting with clients, paperwork, and a whole mess of other things.
I'd rather get the career part figured out, first, and then fill in the gaps with the photography part.
I'd love it -- love it, love it, LOVE it -- if I could just do photography full time and have it be gainful. But that part also scares me.

So, for now, I am still on the periphery of the business. I am still honoring those shoots I've agreed to and any shoots which have been inquired about, but I may be back before too long.

2013: Stepping Back

Often in life, decisions are hard to make.
The following decision was one that came a little easier, all things considered.

At this time, I have decided that I am no longer accepting new sessions.

I will still honor sessions from anyone who has inquired about a session, and, obviously, those who have done a bit more than just inquire. However, at this time, and for personal reasons, I am no longer accepting new client work. 

I apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused, but please know that this decision has been a long time coming. 

It does seem kind of odd, though, doesn't it, that I am stepping back right when it seems things are about to really take off.
I've had more inquiries in the last six months than I've had in all the previous 18 months combined.
It was just last spring --starting a year ago this month-- that I took a Studio Photography class to learn about studio lighting techniques.
I've had many friends --Krista Juhl of Juhl Photography principally among them-- introduce me to new opportunities and open the door to new experiences in photography over the last year. 

So why step back? If things are going so great and things are looking up, why derail the train? 

I need a breather. 

Yeah, I know, that's rich. There are photographers out there doing six shoots every weekend and at least two more during the week, in addition to raising their children, keeping their house clean, and juggling everything else in life, but poor little ol' me, who has one shoot every quarter (if I'm lucky), has no children (except a fuzzy one named Bailey who requires a leash every time she needs to relieve herself), and has minimal housekeeping duties, needs a break. 

I'm just going to re-examine where I am and how photography will really, truly, fit into my life. 

Do I really want to continue to offer this as a business? Or do I just want to do it for fun? 

I've tried for the last two and a half years to make it be both, but a fun business hasn't made any profit, or really turned out much of an attractive portfolio. 

Photography has been one of the things that has made me the happiest.
I can capture the world around me and share my unique perspectives with people. 

...but does that require me to have a client list? Does that require me to have a sitting fee? Should it? 

I decided about a month ago that out of all the styles of photography that exist, that I am closest to a lifestyle photographer.
I like to capture people in their otherwise unmemorialized everyday, doing what it is they do. Natural poses for clients in natural environments. 

It makes sense, especially because it (1) causes a permanence to exist for fleeting moments and (2) that line of thinking is what drew me to take photography more serious anyway.

This decision, to take a step back, is not a permanent one. I will be back. 

I just need space, and time, to think things over. To reacquaint myself with myself.
Hopefully, to start a new career and move out of my parents' house -- again. 

And figure out where photography is going to fit into all of this, and how deeply. 

I will still be posting work. I still have clients on my list; I still have sessions scheduled on my calendar. (And there are five weddings on tap so far this year! Woot woot!)
And I will be posting personal work. I don't plan on being photographically lazy. There will be more landscapes. More art. More springscapes. More animalscapes. More lifestyle photography from my own life. And, perhaps, more expressive work as well.

So I am taking a hiatus. Hopefully you will be around to see what happens during and after.

Thank you for your understanding. 

give me back my innocence, cos I wish to dream again

I wish to dream again.

give me back my innocence, cos I wish to dream again, originally uploaded by speckled_beckle.

It seems that dreams belong in childhood, because as we become adults we must face the detail-driven bits to actually accomplish some of those dreams.

We dream of marrying our prince charming, but when it comes time to actually plan the wedding, we get completely stressed out.
We dream of entering our dream career, but when faced with the issues of 8am classes and 12-page term papers, we are less than willing, if given a choice.

It's all about taking the dreams we have and turning them into goals, and then deciding how badly we want them.
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This pic of me was taken in March 2009 after I got my hair cut and streaked, alternating blond and dark red, with my own copper color. =D