Beautiful

Beautiful, a photo by speckled_beckle on Flickr.

I don't know what the weather has been like in your part of the world, but over the last few months, I have seen enough winter to last me a few years.

This time last year, we Colorado dwellers had already experienced one wildfire and were heading into a very destructive wildfire season.

Mother Nature has delivered us enough snow over the last few months to greatly reduce our fire danger. My area has lifted watering restrictions thanks to this second breath of winter.
That's been the only good part of the snow that has stuck around.

So, here it is, the first day that they are calling for 80 degree temperatures, and it is GORGEOUS outside.

Well, ok, today is a little warm for me.
But that's ok. I don't mind being able to have my windows open and get my hands dirty in the garden.

Almost Over

Almost Over, a photo by speckled_beckle on Flickr.

For over two years now, I have been without employment.

Sure, sure, I left work for a good reason: to finish my degree. I tried doing the school-and-work thing for three semesters, but I couldn't handle both of them at full-time capacity. I applied for a few positions while I was a student, but none of them worked out.

Well, I graduated in May (huzzah!) and, two and a half months later, I have great news: I will be re-entering the workforce!

I was offered a full time position at a local company. The position has everything that I've been looking for (and some things I didn't really realize I wanted). It has a more professional dresscode than any position I've previously held. (Funny how offices encourage business casual!) It comes complete with benefits (401k, health, vision, dental, PTO, etc). And, when I went in for my pre-employment test / interview, I had to check in with security. (I'll get my own photo ID on my first day!)

This new job feels like a right fit for me; I've always wanted an office-oriented job.

There is only one bad side to accepting this position: the facility I will be working at is a 24/7 facility, and I am not guaranteed to have weekends off. Those two things mean that my photo availability will be diminished.
I will still be doing photography, both for myself and for others, though.
I hope that the photographer I have been second-shooting for will give me the dates of upcoming weddings with enough advance that I can sufficiently request time off in order to attend them with her.
(So far, so good: none of the already-scheduled weddings fall in my first 45 days, when attendance is mandatory!)

One plus side? I can buy myself some new photography equipment. My bag has been pretty much untouched for over two years. (Mama's in need of at least one new lens and a flash or two!)
There are other things that I need to invest my money on, too, like student loans, savings, and transportation.

Which is one reason why the lyrics I chose for the photo --from The Eagles' "Waiting In the Weeds"-- is appropriate. It says, "I've been waiting in the weeds / waiting for my time to come around again" and I believe that my time has come again.

The first four weeks are nights, from 3-11:30pm. The next two weeks are "nesting" weeks, and after that, I will be able to put a bid in for my desired schedule, so I retain hope that I will still be able to offer some tempting photo times for clients.

But yay! Work! Income! Health plan! Moving forward! Goal achievement! These are all things I am looking forward to. =)

Mall-style pretzels.

Mall-style pretzels., originally uploaded by speckled_beckle.

These were so great! Seriously. I was not disappointed. If you came over from Flickr, then you know that I recommend these with salsa con queso, which means that I recommend them with salt -- the traditional way. But, you can have them with cinnamon sugar, garlic salt, or Parmesan cheese. Whatever suits your fancy.

1 (.25 ounce) package active dry yeast
2 tablespoons brown sugar
1 1/8 teaspoons salt
1 1/2 cups warm water (110 degrees F/45 degrees C)
3 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup bread flour
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2 cups warm water (110 degrees F/45 degrees C)
2 tablespoons baking soda
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2 tablespoons butter, melted
2 tablespoons coarse kosher salt, cinnamon, or sugar.

1) In a large mixing bowl, dissolve the yeast, brown sugar and salt in 1 1/2 cups warm water. Stir in flour, then knead dough on a floured surface until smooth and elastic, for about 8 minutes. Grease a second large mixing bowl (butter works in the absence of lard). Place the dough in the greased bowl, and turn to coat the surface. Cover, and let rise for one hour.
2) Combine 2 cups warm water and baking soda in an 8 inch square or round pan. Line 6 baking sheets with parchment paper. (I've heard that nonstick spray works, too.)
3) After dough has risen, preheat the oven to 450 degrees. Cut the risen dough into 12 (or so) manageable pieces. Roll each piece into a rope, pencil thin or thinner. Dip into the baking soda, and then twist into a pretzel shape. (I happen to know, from experience, that other shapes work, too: breast-cancer ribbon shapes, knots, hearts, braids, and twists.) Place onto parchment covered baking sheets, and let rise 15 to 20 minutes. (I recommend putting it on the stovetop, over the oven, so it can rise as the oven warms.)
4) Bake in the preheated oven for 8 to 10 minutes, or until golden brown. Brush with melted butter, and sprinkle with coarse salt, garlic salt or cinnamon sugar.

**NOTE: This will require at least two different bakings, to use all of the dough. (More, depending on the size of your pretzels.)
When forming the ropes, roll each one to about half the length you want, then set it aside while you roll the rest. By the time you get back to the first rope, it will have rested enough to roll further.
Also, a 3-foot-long rope will make a pretzel approximately 8-inches in diameter. Plan on using one baking sheet for every 2 pretzels of this size.

Homemade Dinner

Homemade Dinner, originally uploaded by speckled_beckle.

This recipe is so delicious and easy.
The one from tonight was made with chicken, but can be easily made with pork. (Nothing else needs changed!)

2 tbsp butter
2 tbsp olive oil
1 garlic clove, minced (or 1 1/2 tsp minced garlic)
black pepper, red pepper to taste (about 1 tbsp each)
2 chicken breasts (optionally cut up into bitesize pieces)
2 tbsp rosemary
1 14oz can of crushed tomatoes
1 tbsp parsley
Spaghetti


Melt the butter in the pan with the olive oil. Once the butter/oil combination is nice and hot, add in the garlic and peppers. After the garlic has browned a bit, sprinkle the rosemary over the chicken, add the chicken to the skillet and slowly brown it. Once it's browned, add in the tomatoes and parsley. Stir to combine, cover, and reduce heat to a simmer. Put the timer on for 20 minutes, stir after 10. Start the pan of water for the spaghetti and cook the pasta to taste. (Some people prefer al dente, some don't.) When it's all done, serve it up. Meat can go on top, or on the side. Parmesan goes all over both.

See? I told you it was easy! =)

Now for the news.
I had two photos displayed on campus for the Aims Art in Action art club student show, which ran for two months, December 1 to Jan 31. The photography professor who taught my photography professor had some nice things to say about my work. (And he said them to the AAiA club's advisor. =D) It was definitely a wonderful thing for me to hear.

Also, the club wants me to take photographs of the campus to sell! It's so great to hear! =)

So, yay! =)

 

an amazing variety of imperfections

an amazing variety of imperfections, originally uploaded by speckled_beckle.

Samuel McChord Crothers says, among other things,
"Try as hard as we may for perfection, the net result of our labors is an amazing variety of imperfectness. We are surprised at our own versatility in being able to fail in so many different ways."

I must say I wholeheartedly agree with him.

In one way or another, humans try so darned hard to be perfect, to reach that esteemed vision that the world has deemed as "perfect."
...and then we fail, horribly, at ever reaching that goal.
...or die trying.

I say, just be the perfect version of YOU that you can be.
...that's why I think the quote above is going in my book of favorites.
It speaks so much to the drive of humans for being perfect, but it also says that we find ourselves in awe of our imperfection, and I think that is the way we should be.

We should be in awe of our imperfections.
Without our imperfections (either perceived, comparitive, self-assigned, or otherwise) we are just cookie-cutters of everyone else.
Undoubtedly, in this world of 6+ billion people, we each have an increasingly likely chance of finding someone who has the same job, same favorite musical artist, and favorite hobby as we do. Shared interests are what bring people together and form bonds. We learned about that in elementary school, when we were learning how to make friends. "My favorite color is pink, too! Wanna play on the swings together?" But trying to fit in any pre-determined shape, box, or cookie cutter is outdated. I'd say the better thing to do is to live off the radar, to not be definable. (If you like to think of yourself as being mysterious, not fitting to any label will definitely make yourself seem more mysterious!)

For example, I didn't know what the actual definition of "hipster" was until a few days ago.
...then I found out that I am nearly 100% hipster.

But does that mean I'm going to change who I am, just so that I don't fit that definition? No. Because I have been "hipster" longer than I've known what one was, so why should I change just because more and more people like me are starting to define themselves (us) based on a word? (Besides, I don't get the obsession with triangles. And yes, that obsession existed before HP7 came out.)

I guess what I'm saying is...we place too much importance on being perfect.
We place too much emphasis on fitting into every little corner of that box to make sure that we belong.
...maybe, just maybe, that by not touching every corner, not filling every space, makes us fit in that box better.
We are individuals based on our imperfections and our "blunders" so maybe we should be happy to have them. =)

Black Forest Cupcakes

Black Forest Cupcakes, originally uploaded by speckled_beckle.

25 cupcakes.
10 minutes of prep.
100 minutes of baking.
30 minutes of post-processing.
90 seconds to devour them.

The big oven in my parents' kitchen decided to go kaputt, so these were baked in the toaster oven, six cupcakes at a time.
The mix made between 24 and 36; some cupcakes were fuller (and bigger) than others, and there was just enough to make an extra single cup. I only needed 22 for my class, plus one if the tutor was there (or Jake in case the tutor wasn't there), and then one for each of my parents.
Originally I got the recipe from here but I fudged it a wee bit.
Okay, I fudged it a lot. =p

Here's what I did:
*1 box German Chocolate cake mix
*1 can pie-ready cherries (with sugar)
*1 jar of whipped white icing (enough for 2-3 dozen)

1. Prepare the cake mix according to box directions.
2. After cooling, use a melon baller, teaspoon, butter knife, or hand-held apple-corer to make a hole in the center of the cupcake; set aside the cake bit that you remove. Put 1-3 cherries in the hole. (Depending on how much you love your recipient. LOL) Replace the bit of cake you took out. (You may need to trim some off the bottom so the top's not sticking up.)
3. Frost.

Traditional Black Forest cakes call for a cherry and chocolate on top, but I (obviously) didn't do that.
In mine, too, I also added a few cherry chips to the bottom of the muffin cups before filling with dough and then baking. Some of them stuck to the paper cups, some of them integrated into the mix. If you want to try adding the cherry chips, I recommend adding them to the mix as you're mixing it, or sprinkling the chips on top so they will sink to the bottom. (Grab a bag of cherry chips; add the whole thing in if you go the mixing-in route, or sprinke just a few on top if you choose to do it that way.)

They turned out great and were a big hit!!
My wonderful Jake helped me with the filling bit; it was kind of a conveyor system.

.....I got glaze on my shoe!

.....I got glaze on my shoe!, originally uploaded by speckled_beckle.

Man, oh, man.

I missed a lot of days there on my 365.
...and I never got caught up on 30 Days of Gratitude, either.

Oh well.
Ce la vie.

I am, however, getting straight A's, TYVM.

I am just anxious to see how my ceramics pieces come out of the glaze kiln Monday!!
I do have a good reason for being MIA this last month and a half. School. I glazed 16 pieces today; 29 total pieces total this week. Five more pieces to glaze on Monday. Today was also my presentation in German class. Taught MS PowerPoint to myself just for the presentation. (Really not that hard.) And I spent over two hours last night making Black Forest cupcakes for today, too. Thank goodness I had Jacob to help me with those! <3 (See the next blog for the full story on that.) But yes, there you have it. The reasons I have been at school from 10-5 most days since mid-October, and thus the reasons why my photos starting slacking off. Holiday break is coming up. I plan on reading and cleaning my room, so that should allow for plenty of time to take some pics, right? =)

I am grateful for warm food.

I am grateful for warm food. , originally uploaded by speckled_beckle.

Here's the recipe I used for this:

Yield: 6 servings
2 pounds beef top round steak, cut into 1-inch cubes
8 medium carrots, cut into 1-inch pieces*
1 pound small red potatoes, quartered*
1 medium sweet red pepper, chopped
2 stalks celery, chopped into 1/2-inch pieces
1 small onion, chopped
1 can (14-1/2 ounces) diced tomatoes, undrained
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 can (6 ounces) tomato paste
3/4 cup beef broth
1/3 cup dry red wine
1-1/2 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon minced garlic
1 teaspoon pepper
1/2 teaspoon dried thyme

In a large skillet, brown beef on all sides. In a 5-qt. slow cooker, combine the carrots, potatoes, red pepper, celery and onion. Pour tomatoes over the top.
In a small bowl, whisk the flour, tomato paste and broth until smooth. Stir in the wine, salt, garlic, pepper and thyme; pour into slow cooker. Top with beef.
Cover and cook on low for 6-8 hours or until meat is tender.

*8 medium carrots is the same as one pound; I used baby carrots for my recipe and kept them whole. Also, red potatoes are the best for this, but I used yellow potatoes and they turned out great.

Also, the closer you get this to 8 hours, the better it will be! (IMHO)

Enjoy!!

(If you make this, let me know what you thought. I thought it was delicious!)

(This is a modified recipe, the original taken from Taste of Home.)

Upside Down Banana Pecan French Toast

Upside Down Banana Pecan French Toast, originally uploaded by speckled_beckle.

I was out last night until about 4. Woke up at ten (later than I do....ever....these days anyway). Fed the animals, let the dog out for his first outside run. Went back to bed until a little after noon.
Called Jake as soon as I was awake. Made plans to head to Sam's Club, because, apparently, that is the only place in town that sells the only bones my dog will eat.
Got on Facebook whilst brushing my teeth, and noticed --via my local newspaper's status update-- that I had won tickets to the Taste of Greeley, a cooking school hosted by Taste of Home. I was so shocked; I never win anything.

Jake and I go to Sam's. Get the pet supplies. Come back to the house. The dog and the kitties are happy when they see the packages come in through the door. (I think they are learning to read. Or they recognize the sounds that kibble makes when it is in a certain bag / box. Whatever story works for you.)
I throw laundry in the washer. Mom and dad finally get home. (They've been gone to Missouri for the past week.) I am going through my groups on Flickr, multitasking in several tabs on the Internet like I always do. Mom shows me the stuff they bought in Missouri and betwixt here and there. She bought Jake and I a stuffed Toto (in a basket, of course) during their drive in Kansas, and she also bought me an apron to wear in Ceramics class. (It's cute; it may become my cooking apron instead!)

Jake and I go to the cooking class. We listen to the presentations and get hungrier as the night goes on. (To make it worse, the show was from 6:30 until 9, so it covered the timeslot for dinner.)
They gave away different random prizes as door prizes: cookbooks, a traveling wine case, cookbooks, a newspaper subscription, cookbooks, kitchen utensils...have I mentioned cookbooks yet? No? Well, they gave a lot of those away.

At the end of the evening, they gave away each dish that our cook, Jamie, prepared. Each dish comes with its own baking dish. I was the first lucky winner this time!

The dish is white and ceramic, and huge. (Perfect for lasagnas!)
I can't wait to cook more stuff in it. =)

Anyway, here is the recipe!

UPSIDE DOWN BANANA PECAN FRENCH TOAST
(feel free to omit the pecans or substitute with walnuts)
Yield: 10 servings | Prep Time: 15 minutes + chilling | Bake: 45 minutes

2 packages wheat pull-apart dinner rolls
1 1/4 cups light brown sugar
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, melterd
1/4 cup corn syrup
4 medium, ripe bananas
1/2 cup pecans, chopped
2 tsp ground cinnamon
6 large eggs
1 1/2 cups half-and-half
1 1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract
Maple syrup
Fresh sliced strawberries

1. Butter (or spray) bottom and sides of a 13-in. by 9-in. baking dish. Slice rolls in half and set aside.
2. In a mixing bowl, combine sugar, butter, and corn syrup and mix until smooth. Spread mixture into an even layer in bottome of prepared baking dish. Slice bananas thinly and place over brown sugar mixture. Scatter pecans over bananas. Place sliced rolls on top, cut part down. Sprinkle with cinnamon.
3. In a large mixing bowl, whisk together eggs, half-and-half, and vanilla. Pour mixture over rolls. Cover lightly with plastic wrap. Refrigerate overnight. Preheat oven to 350 F. Bake 45-50 minutes or until golden.
4. Cool slightly. Run a knife around the edge of pan to loosen sides and carefully invert pan onto a large platter, or slice and serve as is. serve with warm maple syrup and sliced strawberries.

Jake and I had been wondering what to have for dinner. Guess we didn't need to!
This was delicous.
...now, the thing is, there were strawberries on this when I received it, but we took them off before reheating, and kinda forgot to put them back on. You can see the strawberries in the bottom pic.
(If you look on the top pic, on the left side you can see the red rim where a strawberry had lain.)

If you try this, let me know what you think!

Happy Birthday, Grandma!

Happy Birthday, Grandma!, originally uploaded by speckled_beckle.

When we lose a loved one, the tears we cry are the bitterest when we remember those hours when we loved not enough.

I remember all those promises I made to my grandma that I was going to go to Washington to see her, after she moved out there. I never did.
I never wrote her enough. Or consistently enough.
...and I'll never be able to make it up to her.

Similar feelings have always penetrated every loss that I have experienced.
Both grandpas. My grandma. Numerous pets.

I have tried to take these feelings of remorse and regret and turn them into something more pro-active, so I could be more involved in the lives my loved-ones that are left. I falter and I fail, but still I try.

Tell someone with whom you have lost touch how much you love them, today.
Tomorrow, you may not get the chance.

Bench Monday: "Readin, Ritin, Rithmatic" Edition

Bench Monday: "Readin, Ritin, Rithmatic" Edition, originally uploaded by speckled_beckle.

Today was my first day at school since May.
(When I took the summer off, I literally mean that I took the summer OFF. Like we all got to, y'know, when we were children.)

Unfortunately, I am still a freshman.
A college freshman for the third time.
(If I'd transfer some of my credits in, I wouldn't be.)

I am only taking three classes this semester: German, Ceramics, and History of Islamic Civ.

I stayed behind today to talk to my German teacher, because I was (nearly) fluent when I graduated high school seven years ago, and I wanted her opinion on what she thought would be a good fit.
After one sentence, her response was, "German 2!"
...after a five minute conversation, she asked if I wanted to teach it. LOL.
(She was kidding, though. I hope.)

My German teacher in high school was amazing; her students always got high praise.
I was the top student in Colorado on my 2003 AATG test, and placed 6th in the nation that year on the same test. I was thisclose to going to Germany for a year.
Also, I got a 4 on my AP test.
...and as soon as I told my professor who my teacher was, she hung her head and asked if I wanted to teach it.
I kept insisting that I need a refresher course because I've probably forgotten most of it. (Besides, I wouldn't take her job away. lol.)

Anyway, the first day was interesting.

Tomorrow brings two and a half hours of Ceramics. =)
Woot!!

intentions

intentions

intentions, originally uploaded by speckled_beckle.

I always start every school year with the best of intentions.

I always get my books early (or try to) so I can start studying.

I always tell myself that I'm going to start researching papers early, and get on the homework as soon as I get home.

...but it's always the same story.
I always lose the books at least once a semester.
I always end up waiting to write the paper, because I may find something over the course of the semester that interests me more, and the rest of my research would have been wasted. (If I do get an early start, I have so many books chosen that I get buried in my research and then have a web to untangle when it comes time to form those notes into sentences.)

So, here I am, on the cusp of another school year, hoping for the same things that I always hope for, and hoping that the things that always happen don't happen this year. I mean, I'm not working this time, so there's no excuse for me not to get assignments and reading done, right??

(Well, I'm hoping to get a work-study position, but who knows?)

give me back my innocence, cos I wish to dream again

I wish to dream again.

give me back my innocence, cos I wish to dream again, originally uploaded by speckled_beckle.

It seems that dreams belong in childhood, because as we become adults we must face the detail-driven bits to actually accomplish some of those dreams.

We dream of marrying our prince charming, but when it comes time to actually plan the wedding, we get completely stressed out.
We dream of entering our dream career, but when faced with the issues of 8am classes and 12-page term papers, we are less than willing, if given a choice.

It's all about taking the dreams we have and turning them into goals, and then deciding how badly we want them.
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This pic of me was taken in March 2009 after I got my hair cut and streaked, alternating blond and dark red, with my own copper color. =D

Letting Go & Holding On

Letting Go & Holding On

letting go and holding on, originally uploaded by speckled_beckle.

All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.
~Henry Ellis

At some point, we all find ourselves stuck.
Stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Stuck between our friends and our family.
Stuck between wearing the yellow shirt, or the blue shirt.
Stuck on that really hard math question.

I am stuck.
My mom and I have been clashing for the last few months (ever since she lost her job) and it's starting to wear us down. (It's starting to wear me down.)
I love her dearly, but this house is not big enough for two grown women with their own opinions & worldviews.

I am stuck.
My loving boyfriend has been out of a job for about a month, and he's not putting much effort into finding another one.
Our collective future is on hold, our bills for this month will be in question, and, while he's spriting some new characters for a video game, he seems to be dragging his feet in finding a regular-joe, nine-to-five, "real world" job. (I should also mention that whenever I start to fill out an application or resume, he gets sad and says, "I hope you're not doing that because of me.")

I am stuck.
There is a situation that I no longer know how to handle. It seems that no matter what I do, I am always wrong, even when I can prove that I'm right or have done nothing wrong. (And I can even point out specific instances in which the finger-pointer should be looking in the mirror.)

...perhaps all this is happening because I am still holding on to my desire to please people. Insecurity comes easily to me, but it's mostly self-triggered. Maybe if I let go of all that nonsense, and just not care what people think of me or what I do, perhaps then I achieve peace.
...perhaps there's more to it than that. Perhaps I should mention that I have also been holding on to the dreams of getting married, owning a house, & starting a family; if I let go of those dreams, I wouldn't feel the scraping of my boyfriend's feet as he drags them along.
...perhaps, though, there's even more to it than that. Perhaps we should all realize that some things are shared among a wide group of people, and that we are only individuals in the way that we perceive and share the things in our world. Perhaps that's the answer. Perhaps if we let go of our competitive natures and instead be more accepting and realistic, then there would be a greater sense of peace in the world.

I know, I'm blabbering on about peace like I'm some kind of hippie or something.
But really, the harder decisions in life --the ones in which we find ourselves truly stuck-- cause unrest, and therefore a lack of peace.

I think it would do us all some good (I'm talking on a humanity-wide scale here) to choose what we are holding onto, and what we are letting go of, and why.
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