I am grateful for warm food.

I am grateful for warm food. , originally uploaded by speckled_beckle.

Here's the recipe I used for this:

Yield: 6 servings
2 pounds beef top round steak, cut into 1-inch cubes
8 medium carrots, cut into 1-inch pieces*
1 pound small red potatoes, quartered*
1 medium sweet red pepper, chopped
2 stalks celery, chopped into 1/2-inch pieces
1 small onion, chopped
1 can (14-1/2 ounces) diced tomatoes, undrained
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 can (6 ounces) tomato paste
3/4 cup beef broth
1/3 cup dry red wine
1-1/2 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon minced garlic
1 teaspoon pepper
1/2 teaspoon dried thyme

In a large skillet, brown beef on all sides. In a 5-qt. slow cooker, combine the carrots, potatoes, red pepper, celery and onion. Pour tomatoes over the top.
In a small bowl, whisk the flour, tomato paste and broth until smooth. Stir in the wine, salt, garlic, pepper and thyme; pour into slow cooker. Top with beef.
Cover and cook on low for 6-8 hours or until meat is tender.

*8 medium carrots is the same as one pound; I used baby carrots for my recipe and kept them whole. Also, red potatoes are the best for this, but I used yellow potatoes and they turned out great.

Also, the closer you get this to 8 hours, the better it will be! (IMHO)

Enjoy!!

(If you make this, let me know what you thought. I thought it was delicious!)

(This is a modified recipe, the original taken from Taste of Home.)

Upside Down Banana Pecan French Toast

Upside Down Banana Pecan French Toast, originally uploaded by speckled_beckle.

I was out last night until about 4. Woke up at ten (later than I do....ever....these days anyway). Fed the animals, let the dog out for his first outside run. Went back to bed until a little after noon.
Called Jake as soon as I was awake. Made plans to head to Sam's Club, because, apparently, that is the only place in town that sells the only bones my dog will eat.
Got on Facebook whilst brushing my teeth, and noticed --via my local newspaper's status update-- that I had won tickets to the Taste of Greeley, a cooking school hosted by Taste of Home. I was so shocked; I never win anything.

Jake and I go to Sam's. Get the pet supplies. Come back to the house. The dog and the kitties are happy when they see the packages come in through the door. (I think they are learning to read. Or they recognize the sounds that kibble makes when it is in a certain bag / box. Whatever story works for you.)
I throw laundry in the washer. Mom and dad finally get home. (They've been gone to Missouri for the past week.) I am going through my groups on Flickr, multitasking in several tabs on the Internet like I always do. Mom shows me the stuff they bought in Missouri and betwixt here and there. She bought Jake and I a stuffed Toto (in a basket, of course) during their drive in Kansas, and she also bought me an apron to wear in Ceramics class. (It's cute; it may become my cooking apron instead!)

Jake and I go to the cooking class. We listen to the presentations and get hungrier as the night goes on. (To make it worse, the show was from 6:30 until 9, so it covered the timeslot for dinner.)
They gave away different random prizes as door prizes: cookbooks, a traveling wine case, cookbooks, a newspaper subscription, cookbooks, kitchen utensils...have I mentioned cookbooks yet? No? Well, they gave a lot of those away.

At the end of the evening, they gave away each dish that our cook, Jamie, prepared. Each dish comes with its own baking dish. I was the first lucky winner this time!

The dish is white and ceramic, and huge. (Perfect for lasagnas!)
I can't wait to cook more stuff in it. =)

Anyway, here is the recipe!

UPSIDE DOWN BANANA PECAN FRENCH TOAST
(feel free to omit the pecans or substitute with walnuts)
Yield: 10 servings | Prep Time: 15 minutes + chilling | Bake: 45 minutes

2 packages wheat pull-apart dinner rolls
1 1/4 cups light brown sugar
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, melterd
1/4 cup corn syrup
4 medium, ripe bananas
1/2 cup pecans, chopped
2 tsp ground cinnamon
6 large eggs
1 1/2 cups half-and-half
1 1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract
Maple syrup
Fresh sliced strawberries

1. Butter (or spray) bottom and sides of a 13-in. by 9-in. baking dish. Slice rolls in half and set aside.
2. In a mixing bowl, combine sugar, butter, and corn syrup and mix until smooth. Spread mixture into an even layer in bottome of prepared baking dish. Slice bananas thinly and place over brown sugar mixture. Scatter pecans over bananas. Place sliced rolls on top, cut part down. Sprinkle with cinnamon.
3. In a large mixing bowl, whisk together eggs, half-and-half, and vanilla. Pour mixture over rolls. Cover lightly with plastic wrap. Refrigerate overnight. Preheat oven to 350 F. Bake 45-50 minutes or until golden.
4. Cool slightly. Run a knife around the edge of pan to loosen sides and carefully invert pan onto a large platter, or slice and serve as is. serve with warm maple syrup and sliced strawberries.

Jake and I had been wondering what to have for dinner. Guess we didn't need to!
This was delicous.
...now, the thing is, there were strawberries on this when I received it, but we took them off before reheating, and kinda forgot to put them back on. You can see the strawberries in the bottom pic.
(If you look on the top pic, on the left side you can see the red rim where a strawberry had lain.)

If you try this, let me know what you think!

Happy Birthday, Grandma!

Happy Birthday, Grandma!, originally uploaded by speckled_beckle.

When we lose a loved one, the tears we cry are the bitterest when we remember those hours when we loved not enough.

I remember all those promises I made to my grandma that I was going to go to Washington to see her, after she moved out there. I never did.
I never wrote her enough. Or consistently enough.
...and I'll never be able to make it up to her.

Similar feelings have always penetrated every loss that I have experienced.
Both grandpas. My grandma. Numerous pets.

I have tried to take these feelings of remorse and regret and turn them into something more pro-active, so I could be more involved in the lives my loved-ones that are left. I falter and I fail, but still I try.

Tell someone with whom you have lost touch how much you love them, today.
Tomorrow, you may not get the chance.

Bench Monday: "Readin, Ritin, Rithmatic" Edition

Bench Monday: "Readin, Ritin, Rithmatic" Edition, originally uploaded by speckled_beckle.

Today was my first day at school since May.
(When I took the summer off, I literally mean that I took the summer OFF. Like we all got to, y'know, when we were children.)

Unfortunately, I am still a freshman.
A college freshman for the third time.
(If I'd transfer some of my credits in, I wouldn't be.)

I am only taking three classes this semester: German, Ceramics, and History of Islamic Civ.

I stayed behind today to talk to my German teacher, because I was (nearly) fluent when I graduated high school seven years ago, and I wanted her opinion on what she thought would be a good fit.
After one sentence, her response was, "German 2!"
...after a five minute conversation, she asked if I wanted to teach it. LOL.
(She was kidding, though. I hope.)

My German teacher in high school was amazing; her students always got high praise.
I was the top student in Colorado on my 2003 AATG test, and placed 6th in the nation that year on the same test. I was thisclose to going to Germany for a year.
Also, I got a 4 on my AP test.
...and as soon as I told my professor who my teacher was, she hung her head and asked if I wanted to teach it.
I kept insisting that I need a refresher course because I've probably forgotten most of it. (Besides, I wouldn't take her job away. lol.)

Anyway, the first day was interesting.

Tomorrow brings two and a half hours of Ceramics. =)
Woot!!

intentions

intentions

intentions, originally uploaded by speckled_beckle.

I always start every school year with the best of intentions.

I always get my books early (or try to) so I can start studying.

I always tell myself that I'm going to start researching papers early, and get on the homework as soon as I get home.

...but it's always the same story.
I always lose the books at least once a semester.
I always end up waiting to write the paper, because I may find something over the course of the semester that interests me more, and the rest of my research would have been wasted. (If I do get an early start, I have so many books chosen that I get buried in my research and then have a web to untangle when it comes time to form those notes into sentences.)

So, here I am, on the cusp of another school year, hoping for the same things that I always hope for, and hoping that the things that always happen don't happen this year. I mean, I'm not working this time, so there's no excuse for me not to get assignments and reading done, right??

(Well, I'm hoping to get a work-study position, but who knows?)

my rock; my anchor; my superhero.

my rock, my anchor, my superhero

my rock; my anchor; my superhero., originally uploaded by speckled_beckle.

This is something that not a lot of people know about me.

I suffer from depression.

It used to be one of those things that would hit hard occasionally two or three times a month. Its frequency is increasing, though.

Last week, it hit me twice; this week, so far, once.
Both times last week it was a hard, hard hit. To the point that I --seriously-- could have pulled the trigger on a gun and not thought twice about it.
Yesterday, the time that it hit this week, I didn't want to die so much as to fade away. I just didn't want to be here anymore. (It's almost like I wanted to travel back in time and affect something so I wouldn't be here.)

But, thankfully, Jake is the one who stops my fall through these black, unending chasms.
I feel bad for him in that he doesn't really understand what's going on. (Truthfully, neither do I.) And I know this is affecting our relationship; it's not allowing me to be as open and close with him as he deserves. I try, but I'm afraid I fall short. (This could be the truth, or it could be my depression making me think the worst of it again.)

But don't worry about me; I am fine, 90% of the time. =0)
I haven't sought clinical help for my depression because, well, once someone labels you as such, insurance companies point that out as a risk and as a pre-existing condition.
I have some ProZAC from my doctor; I haven't taken any of it. After it was prescribed, a coworker told me that it really messes with the chemical balances in your head, to the point that you see weird things with it and can't function without it. (Her brother had apparently had these things happen to him when he was on it, so she was warning me.) It scared me to the point that the bottle is still sitting on top of my television.

give me back my innocence, cos I wish to dream again

I wish to dream again.

give me back my innocence, cos I wish to dream again, originally uploaded by speckled_beckle.

It seems that dreams belong in childhood, because as we become adults we must face the detail-driven bits to actually accomplish some of those dreams.

We dream of marrying our prince charming, but when it comes time to actually plan the wedding, we get completely stressed out.
We dream of entering our dream career, but when faced with the issues of 8am classes and 12-page term papers, we are less than willing, if given a choice.

It's all about taking the dreams we have and turning them into goals, and then deciding how badly we want them.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This pic of me was taken in March 2009 after I got my hair cut and streaked, alternating blond and dark red, with my own copper color. =D