The year of Dave is over. Finally.
I am just now catching my breath enough to write a post (on this blog) about it.
When Jake and I moved into my uncle's house, we did so under the guise that it would be a great favor to the family. Living together under those conditions would also be a test to see if we could stand each other 24/7 without running the risk of breaking a lease.
After a couple months of living together, I had a pretty good idea of everything I believed in and stood for: my intuition had never been more receptive.
Then, my aunt died, and I had to take a more active role in my family: grandma's care fell (mostly) in my lap. I was in charge of driving her to her errands and appointments, setting up and organizing her prescriptions, paying her bills and balancing her checkbook, and making sure that she was taken care of. Under all of this, I lost touch with myself.
Things became more complicated when my uncle was allowed to leave jail and enter the work release program.
He required picked up every morning and dropped off every night, so he had to be scheduled in around everything and everyone else. (Plus he's not exactly my first-choice candidate for person of the year award; his flaws are numerous and annoying. More on that on my personal blog.)
...but after all the complications, all the tears, all the worry and angst and anxiety, it's over. It's done. He's home.
Jake is in Denver, and I am in my old room at my parents' house.
He looks for work to lay a foundation to build our collective life on, while I look for myself. I hope these three months alone will give me enough time for introspection to regain confidence in myself. It's not that it couldn't happen with Jake by my side --it did last year-- there are just a lot of extra complications this year than there were last year.
Besides, I am used to being alone. I was an only child and spent a lot of time figuring things out on my own, so I relish and require space and time to myself.
I will be spending this time reorganizing my space, since we just kind of threw the boxes from my uncle's house in here. School is still in session, so I have to focus on that, too. Plus there are all kinds of photography gigs opening up to me. (I can name 6 between now and the end of May.) Gardening and flower-tending will also be happening over the next few months. And, since we have an entire house now devoted to crafty goodness, there will be plenty of crafting happening. So much crafting, in fact, that I may open my Etsy site.
(I'm hoping to open it this coming week, anyway, just with photographic prints.) Watch my twitter account (@beccaellaphoto) for updates on that.
It will be good to realign myself over this coming quarter. Perhaps I will even gain a new perspective between now and May.
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