Tick, Tock

Christmas went well, but that's not what I want to share tonight. I'll write a post up about that in the next few days, complete with pictures. 

There are only four days and some hours left in this year.

There is so much to do, to plan, to hope for, for the year to come. I'm sure this is true for you, too. 

The biggest thing in the coming year is moving to Denver.
It's five months away, yes, and there is no 100% guarantee that it's going to happen, but I am already getting excited about it. (Given my history with things like this, that may not be a good thing.)

I plan on getting myself partway established, business-wise, before I move, but it will be a lot like starting from scratch again. 

It will be bittersweet, but I think it will also be a good thing. 

For the last few months, I have been in a rut.
I haven't had a shoot in eight months. That's rough.
Moving is going to force me to market myself more, to take new and different approaches to things.  

Those are good things, I think. =)

There are a ton of personal things that will be good, too. 

I will still be in the Greeley area for five more months, so if there's anyone who's wanting a shoot, schedule it now. 

...I just feel the cold.

I can't feel my senses; I just feel the cold., originally uploaded by speckled_beckle.

Winter is about hibernating indoors, under blankets, with a cup of warm cocoa in hand as the oven bakes delectable goodness.

It should be noted, also, that there is either music playing (Christmas carols?) or a movie playing while all of this is going on.
If it is the former, a book occupies the free hand and a fire is roaring nearby.

If one dares venture outside, one is greeted with unequivocal beauty, as with any season.
Winter is a season of glitter, ice crystals, fat lazy snowflakes, and skeletal trees.
(One must be quick to witness this beauty, though, for it is fleeting and quickly replaced with the dormant browns and yellows of a sleeping earth.)

The last few years, I have come to appreciate the beauty of this season.
I still hate being cold, but I understand that winter's cold must balance summer's heat. Before, winter was nothing more than surviving the {brisk} walk to the car, darkness, and hiding inside.
But, now, I have reasons to venture outside: the fog as it creeps in along the valley floor at night, the twinkle of frost in the early morning, the Impressionist-style skies...
It is my mission, and my pleasure, to immemorialize the beauty of each season, and winter is no exception.

I'm as free as a bird...

I'm as free as a bird..., originally uploaded by speckled_beckle.

School is officially over for me for the semester, so I am free, free, free!
I get five glorious weeks of respite before I have to load up the backpack again and trudge all the way across town to finish my degree.
I only need one class to finish, but I'm taking a full load. It just makes more sense to me.
(By the end of these five weeks, I may not see it that way! LOL)

Anyway, with all this free time on my hands, I hope to do more photography.
A friend has asked me to do a family session for her, so I have (at least) that on my to do list.
I also have a bunch of pictures left to take for 111 Photos in 2011, a group I'm a part of on Flickr.

But this month won't just be about photography, unfortunately.
Real life also has to happen.
These weeks are the most solid chunk of time that I will have to devote to getting this house back together, before February, which is when we are to move out.
...so, I'll also be spending a lot of time packing, cleaning, and rearranging.

So this may be a chunk of time without school, but it will not be an idle chunk of time!

Like I said, I hope to devote a lot of time to photography over these coming weeks, but I hope that you will understand if I do not meet even my own expectations. =)

You're gonna be gone before you get found in another boring afternoon

You're gonna be gone before you get found in another boring afternoon, originally uploaded by speckled_beckle.

The bit of lyrics I chose to include on the photo:
"I can count the years
Everybody now is just counting tears
And plastic bills and their protective pills
And I just took my time"
...is personal.

I feel like I've missed out on so much in my life. I'm 26 with no college degree, no progeny, and no ring on my finger. It feels like I have done nothing to contribute to the world or to my life.

Yes, I know, this sounds like whining.
...but I can't help the way I feel.

I do, however, realize that I have a good fifty years (or so) left to live, so I'm not worried about rectifying those situations. =)
...in fact, I am only 16 weeks away from getting my Associate of Arts degree.
...and then, onto a Bachelor's from there. (I've been --thankfully-- getting some insights into what to major in, too.)

The marriage and kids thing can wait.

One thing at a time.
One day at a time.
That's how things get done. =)

Thanksgiving Table & Christmas Preview

Thanksgiving Table, originally uploaded by speckled_beckle.

It was amazingly nice yesterday. It was so amazingly nice that we ate our Thanksgiving meal outside.
...and yes, I still live in Colorado!

I can honestly say that was the first time that I remember eating outside for Thanksgiving.

The meal was at my boyfriend's aunt's house in Denver.
We went down on Wednesday night to not only be there to help out on Thursday morning but also to prevent an early morning rush to leave our house, which is an hour away.
We helped with the food prep, food area cleaning and staging on Thursday morning. I even ironed the table linens! Huzzah!
Slowly but surely, the other family members arrived, and we sat down and feasted on turkey, Brussels sprouts, roasted potatoes, grilled root vegetables, homemade challah, cornbread stuffing, and a grapefruit-arugula salad.
A few hours later, after the dishes were done from round one, we went to my boyfriend's older brother's house and had lovely desserts: an apple cake and a classic pumpkin pie.

Thanksgiving always coincides with my boyfriend's uncle's birthday --which is actually November 25-- so there were presents to be had for that.
I also took advantage of the family gathering to dole out Bahamian souvenirs.
(And there may or may not have been child-like crafts with thank you notes in them as well. Ahem.)

My mom was dear enough to feed the cat and let the dogs out during our twenty-seven hour vacation, and I am grateful for her agreeing to do that for us. (Thanks, mom!)
She had a meal with my dad, grandma, and uncle, and they did not eat at home.
It's sad, really. My family never has holiday meals or celebrations anymore. I'd love it if they would, because we'd trade off with my boyfriend's family. I mean, it would only be fair. But, my family probably doesn't do Thanksgiving and Christmas holiday meals anymore because they figure I'll be with my boyfriend's family, not realizing that we make plans based on who asks first. So...there you go. (Mom, if you're reading this, plan on having meals and stuff. I'll be there.)
...or they're just waiting for me to start hosting dinners. But that's a little farther down the road yet.

Now comes the fun part: Christmas.
This year, we are not able to purchase presents, and I am perfectly fine with that.
Christmas has become too commercialized for my preference anyway. And homemade gifts always mean more, because the person didn't go to the florescent-lighted store, pick out a shiny box with shiny machine-pressed goods inside, slap some shiny-printed paper on it and stick a plastic bow on top.
Homemade gifts are more personal. They carry a piece of the person with them. And they are specially made by hand, not by machine.
(Have you noticed that even McDonald's has a machine to create the drinks now? There are too many machine-dictated things in this world. Hasn't anyone seen Terminator?
I have always wanted to give homemade gifts, because of these reasons. Being forced to is a good thing, I think.
...and I guess it all sort of had roots when I gave wheel-thrown ceramic pieces last year. It was an artisanal satisfaction that cannot be explained.

Well, folks, Christmas is coming. I hope you're ready! And I hope everyone reading this had a great Thanksgiving. If you care to, please leave me a synopsis of your yesterday in the comments.

Paperwork, Paperwork, Paperwork

I don't even know where to begin or how to say this, so I'm just going to come out with it.

It is always a good idea for photographers to have a signed contract before they do any shoot.
I have never had one, but I am going to start.

I was supposed to be a second shooter at a wedding tomorrow.
The friend for whom I was going to be working called the groom Tuesday to make final arrangements.
Well, yesterday, the bride called my friend and said that she had a cousin with a camera who would shoot the wedding for free and that they didn't see the point in paying my friend that much. (And, honestly, my friend's rate is not expensive! $300 for a wedding is a steal.)
So now, not only is my friend not going to shoot their wedding tomorrow, but she may not get paid at all. She offers free engagement sessions to couples who also book their weddings with her, and guess what? That's the offer they took her up on.

I just hope that she can work out what's going on with them without the courts having to get involved.

So while you're outside looking in, remember what you're staring at is me.

So while you're outside looking in, remember what you're staring at is me., originally uploaded by speckled_beckle.

It is so easy for us to judge each other.
You stop by my photostream or blog, read some random facts, and form an opinion about me. It's done unconsciously.
I do it too. He does it. She does it.
We all do it.
All the time.

That's what the title of this song means to me.
Most of the people we see on a daily basis are outside of our lives, spectators, really.
A five minute conversation when they see us by the coffee pot at work, a simple rapport when they're ringing out our groceries, a short exchange over the phone... It is so easy for us to forget that we are looking at people who have just as much on their minds as we do.
Someone who has a great week this week will be struggling next week.
Life is a constant roller coaster of ups and downs, for each of us.

Just remember, when you're outside looking in, describing what you see, remember what you're staring at is someone else. A living, breathing, loving person, full of emotions, needs, chaos, and capabilities. We are each tied to each other by thin threads, and we all have more in common than we know.